Monday, July 11, 2011
Boyfriend is Missing, Ex is a Zombie?
Boyfriend Missing Ex is a Zombie?
By: Jessica Samuels
A tear falls down my face as I looked at Jack’s picture. He is my boyfriend for a few years now. We had a fight, and now he is gone. Jack has been missing for over a week now, and the last time I saw him I had a fight with him. A wet tear falls down my face, and I wipe it off. Remembering that night will tear me to pieces, and it was an awful one.
Jack never came home after he stormed out, and slammed the door. I thought he went to his Mom’s house to cool off. I called her to talk to Jack, and apologize to him about my behavior. What she said made me nervous, “Oh Strange. He did not walk in the house, but he was here is the yard with a dirty shovel in his hands. He went somewhere carrying a heavy black plastic bag. I could tell he was struggling with it, but when I asked if he needed help he told me to leave him alone. He left after that, and went somewhere, but did not tell me where. He did not even tell me why he is upset which is even stranger because we always talk. Oh well, better get back to house work.” It was said as if she did not care that her son was missing, and she seemed out of it. I got really worried because she did not even panic either like I am now.
His mom hung up to continue doing whatever she was doing before I called probably continuing to be spaced out like she usually is sometimes stuck in her own world. I hung up still worried as to what happened to him, and thought about it. She was right of course, and what was he doing with a shovel? Odd indeed, and it had me freaking out as well.
I thought of all the places where he might have gone, and I want to find the answer to where he is, and what he was doing with a shovel. I visited all his usual haunts, and I still could not find him which was weird considering he never does this type of thing ever. This case of the missing boyfriend is getting even stranger then I thought it would be.
I broke into his apartment thinking he could be there, and I saved it for last because I thought he would be anywhere but here considering he hates to be cooped up in it. I checked his art studio, and made sure he was not there to surprise me. A part of me thought he would set up a place, and make me a nice romantic dinner as a sorry. Eww.. That is so sappy it makes me want to puke. Enough of that I looked around to see if he left anything, and to find clues as to what happened to him. I checked the living room, and I found nothing. The kitchen yielded no results as well.
His bedroom was an entirely different matter altogether. I found a few candles in his drawer, and a Book Of Shadows. That might have explained it. I even found a key that led to his basement. A part of me screams, “Do not do it unarmed you stupid bitch. Do you want to end up dead like all the girls that walk into creepy basements unarmed?”
I laugh realizing how stupid it is to go into a basement without a gun or knife. All the dumb heroines do it in the movies, and then they get killed. I thought about how much I now saved myself from ending up dead because I grabbed Jacks gun out of his safe. A desert eagle from Isreal that he got while serving in the Israeli army . I learned how to fire it thanks to Jack, and he taught me how to load, cock, fire it, aim for the target. He even taught me how to clean it. I get to go with him to the range every Saturday of course if he dies I will not be doing that anymore. I try not to think about that line of thought. I shook my head not really wanting to assume the worst. There must be a logical explanation for what happened to him, and maybe things are not as bad as they seem.
I finally get the courage to open the dreaded basement door, and the basement is huge like an underground world war 2 bunker. I turn on the lights to brighten the already dark room. The gun is already loaded, the slide is pulled back, and I aim at the room. I feel kick ass and ready to fire holes in the asshole that hurt my boyfriend. I search the room for more clues, burned down candles found, and a pentacle etched into the dusty floor. Herbs still going, and smoldering over a cauldron? Interesting he must be doing a ritual, but there is no sign of him.
I spot another book on the floor the title, “The Idiots Guide to Exorcisms.” Huh? Damn, and I have a feeling I know where this is going.
I heard something make a scratching noise. My heart started to pound. I freeze up scared out of my mind. I started to panic then I snapped myself out of it because of the Desert eagle in my hand. I aim the gun in places trying to shoot whatever made that sound. I not only see a humanoid shape, but I realize it is a zombie coming towards me, and I know this because I saw Zombieland. I know a zombie when I see one, and I flash back to a scene that makes me remember what they eat. I freeze again and start to panic because I do not want to get eaten right now. I do not pay attention to the gross details because I do not want to get that close. I certainly do not want to be eaten either.
I aim and shoot. The thing falls down thankfully. I got close to it to see if it is dead. It moved and I aimed for the head, and shot it until its head was severed from its decayed spine. The bangs are so loud my ears rang from the noise reverberating up and down my skull. I began shaking, and I looked at the thing realizing it looked like my ex-boyfriend.
I look over, and who is that I spot? Jack I found him finally, or he found me. Jack looked like a mess dirty clothes, dirt in his dirty blonde hair, and a cut on his lip. He looked around noticed the zombie smiled, and said to me, “ Hey, Mindy. Good thing I taught you how to fire a gun.” I laughed glad to see him. Alive, not undead or dead only injured a little. I reply sarcastically, “Hey dumbass do not ever try to mess with dead things again. I have no idea how you managed to make a zombie when it was an exorcism book. Also if you do that again,” I pointed to the now headless zombie, “I am not going to bail you out if you raise one of those things again, and the next time I will not only let it eat you I will personally shoot you myself.”
I glare at him trying to get him to realize how dangerous this stuff is. I doubt mind control will get through his thick skull anyway. He gives in, “Your right I should never have combined voodoo and exorcism together. You did do a good job with the shooting.”
He hugs me, and I find myself stupid enough to melt in his arms. A part of me understood why he kept the secret from me.
“Lesson learned to not mess with the dead anymore? And to get me dinner, and roses instead for an apology?” He nods, “And by the way it was your abusive ex I rose from the dead. I thought that was a better way to say sorry then making you dinner, but I will do dinner and roses instead. I am a good necromancer boyfriend.”
I looked at him and smiled. He ended up giving me a better gift, and one just as good as him being alive. He gave me closure from the past, and a brighter future to look forward to. Most of all he healed me, and that is something I am very grateful for. I looked at him, “I love you, and I am sorry for fighting our relationship and pushing you away.”
He got down on one knee, “Mindy will you marry me?” I said the only answer that came to mind. “Yes I will.”
He kissed me and then I realized we will both have a happy life together. The best part? I am free to love as if I never met my abusive jerk of an ex because he is dead, and I will never have to live in fear of him again.