Thursday, January 8, 2015

How to Procrastinate instead of writing a novel!


Novel writing is not easy by any means, and with self-publishing just about anyone can become a writer. Works can be published without any effort which isn’t good for people who actually can write a novel. It’s hard to write since it mainly requires butt to chair action, and sometimes more brain power then you have the energy for especially if you go to school, or work a day job. Good work takes time and even other people to look over it. That is another story though, and I will write a post about the entire process and how I write them. In the meantime here is how not to write a novel. Or maybe it should read doing everything but writing a novel!

·      Check email: You never know if a very important email from an editor or beta reader has come in. Just check every 5 seconds and keep hitting the refresh key constantly.
·      Check Twitter and updates status to: Writing a novel but in the mean time researching shirtless models for the next cover.
·      Eat after all you’re brain cannot work without something powering it.
·      Yell at your smartphone since a wrong number has called for the 1,000 time for someone who has a claim on them. It’s a recording too bad they cannot hear you…
·      Watch time tick by every minute while you’re waiting for calls from family or friends.
·      Check blogs after all how the hell do other writers write novels when you can’t even sit for an hour….
·      Get another cup of coffee, wine, whisky, liquor, vodka, or energy drink to get the blood flowing or to relax you need it after trying to focus on a sentence for an hour.
·      Hit head against the wall to loosen the ideas from your brain.
·      Shower maybe it will help you figure out this next sentence…
·      Check Facebook yet again to see what fun things your friends are up to, and things to use in stories…
·      Stare at the computer screen until inspiration strikes…
·      Smoke a cigarette if you do as a way of taking a break.
·      Walk the dog maybe the neighborhood can give you more ideas…
·      While walking the dog you spot a house, and spend the rest of the time wondering if they keep bodies in the basement.
·      Get one of the emails you’ve been waiting for and dance around when it says not bad just needs work. Yay! You’re not a failure.
·      Delete old files off your phone, PC, and tablet since it is a new semester and year after all.
·      Watch Youtube lets plays because video games are awesome, and who knows another story idea might pop up at any minute…

Okay, there are a lot of ways to procrastinate and not work on writing your novel. In the end the writers who stop procrastinating, and are determined to finish the novel of their dreams will learn how rewarding it is to finish something despite all the distractions stopping them.


 Until next time,


Wolfdreamer25